Chapter 1: The Struggle with Driving and Learning

Sometimes, we all need a pause to grasp the lessons hidden within our failures.

I’ll admit it: I’m not the best driver. Back in Finland, my attempts at learning were so comical that my mom and I often ended up laughing in the car instead of practicing. I had to take my driving test twice and only barely passed the second time.

My lack of spatial awareness combined with my anxiety made driving in traffic extremely stressful. Even the five-minute rush hour in my hometown, which has around 100,000 residents, was enough to make me sweat, let alone the thought of long-distance driving or navigating highways.

After I finally got my license, I thought I’d improve. Well, not significantly.

At 21, I left Finland and, at 36, I still don’t own a car nor do I wish to. Call me unconventional, but I find that a good public transportation system makes owning a vehicle unnecessary.

Whenever I return to Finland, I do drive, and surprisingly, I’m much better at it than before, even without consistent practice. How did this happen?

Living in two major cities exposed me to genuinely chaotic traffic, making the Finnish rush hour seem manageable now. Additionally, stepping away from something challenging allowed me to learn and let my mind process the information.

Some individuals don’t improve merely through practice. We often strive toward a goal, immersing ourselves in study, yet we may not truly apply our knowledge until we take a step back and give it time to develop, sometimes over years.

Chapter 2: Failing Better – The Pressure of Expectations

You’ve probably heard the mantra from personal development experts: keep failing until you succeed, adapt and improve with each setback. This notion often reinforces a hustle mentality.

I consider myself an expert in being stuck in a cycle of unproductive failure, and I can't entirely blame myself. This ties back to that very advice.

When I resolved to become a "real writer," I took it exceptionally seriously. I wrote incessantly, striving to enhance my skills and achieve my long-held dream of being a published author.

I dove deep into reading—not just for enjoyment but to learn the intricacies of storytelling. I consumed books on plotting, language, and the publishing process, and I listened to countless podcasts featuring agents, editors, and seasoned authors. My determination to learn and improve was unwavering.

Yet the reality was that I faced continuous failure for an extended period, feeling as if my efforts yielded no progress. What I truly needed was distance. My creative muscle required rest in order to flourish.

My Failure Story: It's Easy to Talk About Success, Difficult to Share If You Have Failed

This video explores the complexities of sharing personal failures and the lessons learned from them.

Chapter 3: The Turning Point

In recent months, I finally experienced a breakthrough in my approach to failure. I can genuinely feel my writing improving. My perspective on fiction has shifted, and I recognize the growth in my work.

This transformation was catalyzed by a challenging period of financial instability, during which I accepted a writing job that drained my creativity and left me exhausted. Ironically, this situation turned out to be a blessing.

I had to pause my writing endeavors for nearly two years to gain enough distance to process the knowledge I had accumulated. I not only came to appreciate the freedom to write what I love, but I also began to see my own words with newfound clarity.

The insights I gained during my earlier struggles have matured, and the resources I consumed have become ingrained in my writing.

Sure, I produced a considerable volume of writing during that time—hundreds of thousands of words in 2020—but much of it was affiliate content that lacked depth. What truly benefited me was the time I allowed for reflection.

Now, with some distance, I can confidently say my failures are taking on a more positive trajectory, and I occasionally find myself succeeding rather than failing.

Why Failure is Good for You | Brian Tracy

This video delves into the benefits of embracing failure as a stepping stone toward personal and professional growth.

If you’re feeling stagnant and believe your hard work isn’t leading to improvement, it might be time to take a break. Allow yourself the space to rest and let your thoughts develop.

Just be sure to return to your passions after your time away.