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Understanding Our Desire to Help Others: A Deep Dive

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Chapter 1: The Motivations Behind Helping

The famous quote by Leo Tolstoy resonates deeply: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Each time I reflect on this, I find myself pondering the authenticity of this statement. Why is it that we feel compelled to alter the world around us? What drives this instinct?

A thoughtful image reflecting on self-change

In today’s digital landscape, it seems that every YouTuber, influencer, and writer is on a mission to change the world. I, too, aim to make a difference through this article. Yet, I often question why I don’t focus on transforming my own life first.

Section 1.1: Psychological Benefits of Altruism

Research conducted in 2016 explored the connection between the act of providing social support and its effects on psychological well-being. The findings revealed that engaging in supportive behavior is associated with lower levels of stress and a diminished likelihood of experiencing negative psychological effects.

This suggests a somewhat self-serving reason behind our altruistic impulses.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Helper's High

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” The term “helper's high” was first introduced in 1980 when numerous individuals reported a euphoric feeling following acts of kindness, likely due to the release of happiness-inducing hormones like serotonin and oxytocin.

In this video, "The addiction to helping others (Why you want to fix people)," we explore the psychological aspects of why we feel compelled to assist others, often at our own expense. Discover the underlying motivations and emotional responses that drive our actions.

Section 1.2: The Quest for Self-Actualization

Kurt Goldstein introduced the concept of self-actualization, which refers to the urge to fulfill one’s potential. He described it as "the basic drive to actualize oneself as fully as possible." Similarly, psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized the human tendency to realize one’s capabilities.

Once our basic needs are met, our minds strive for self-actualization, promoting personal and psychological growth.

An inspiring image representing self-actualization

“Life is an exciting business and most exciting when it is lived for others,” noted Helen Keller. It's somewhat disheartening to realize that many of the motivations I’ve identified for wanting to help others trace back to self-preserving instincts. If you have different insights, please share them with me, and I’d be glad to incorporate them into this discussion.

Chapter 2: Emotional Dynamics in Relationships

In the video titled "#Narcissists treat everyone else better than those closest to them: emotional capacity," we delve into how emotional dynamics play a crucial role in our relationships and the impact of narcissism on interpersonal connections.

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