Chapter 1: The Essence of Tenderness

Throughout my life, I have regarded tenderness as one of the most exquisite words in the English lexicon. The very sound of it brings comfort to my soul and calms my spirit. My ego reveres its pronunciation with utmost respect.

However, I find it disheartening that this term is infrequently used today, nor is it cherished as a virtue as it once was. Has our contemporary society relegated tenderness to the annals of the past?

Despite the plethora of literature, workshops, and discussions surrounding love, compassion, forgiveness, and peace, I cannot recall any that center solely on tenderness. To investigate this notion further, I conducted an internet search with "tenderness" as my focal point. I expected to encounter numerous articles celebrating its positive potential for humanity.

To my surprise, after sifting through multiple pages of results, I discovered only a handful of articles discussing the virtues of tenderness. Even those lacked the depth I was hoping to find. My quest for notable quotes on the subject proved equally challenging.

If tenderness is indeed a fundamental spiritual value, why has it faded from prominence amidst the rising consciousness of our world? Is this decline a result of a culture that glorifies logic and science while diminishing the roles of wisdom, intuition, and spirituality?

What is happening? When did tenderness lose its allure?

The dictionary attempts to define tenderness with terms like delicate, vulnerable, frail, sensitive, gentle, and sentimental. In a society that has prioritized achievement over the past few decades, my forthcoming speculation may provide some insight.

These dictionary descriptors are not qualities typically associated with "success" in our achievement-driven culture. Embracing such attributes can seem daunting, as we have been led to believe that doing so might leave us vulnerable to the harshness of the world.

Connecting these dots, it's no wonder tenderness has lost its charm!

Yet, if our goal is to break free from the cycles of conflict, discrimination, and oppression, can we even begin this journey without reinstating the vital role of tenderness in our collective value system?

A poignant moment of tenderness etched in my memory occurred in March 2003, coinciding with the onset of the war in Iraq. This event filled me with profound sorrow, leading me to believe the world had plunged into a darkness that would persist for years. Looking back 19 years later, I see that my fears were realized.

On the night of President Bush’s announcement, I attended a candlelight vigil with a dear friend at my favorite park in Denver, Colorado. This park had always enveloped me in tenderness during my most challenging times.

As we neared the vigil site, an unsettling silence enveloped the area, reminiscent of the atmosphere following 9/11. The gathering crowd appeared unsure, grappling with raw emotions and the absence of a formal agenda. A prevailing sadness filled the air.

I observed, in quiet contemplation, waves of troubled souls converging in a serene walking meditation. Hundreds of individuals came together, forming a wedding-like procession led by an invisible force.

Everywhere I looked, I saw hearts weighed down by shock and concern, yet I also sensed a rising spirit of faith and resolve to overcome the darkness once more.

As it turned out, no formal program was necessary. The vigil organically transformed into a spontaneous gathering of peacemakers, united in comfort and love, crafting a vision of peace amidst the chaos of escalating violence.

As night fell, we lit our candles and stood in silence. Suddenly, a voice broke the stillness, singing "Amazing Grace." As if choreographed, we all joined in, creating one of the most touching and tender moments of my life.

As I left, I kept pondering: why do humans repeatedly choose violence over tenderness? Why can’t we unite, as we did that night, to cherish and respect the precious gift of life shared across cultures?

In my experience, tenderness stands as the ultimate testament to the presence of love in its most profound form.

This essay serves as a call to action for those on a path of awakening: to rediscover, ignite, and embrace the strength of tenderness.

Take a moment to reflect on your most tender experiences, etch them into your heart, and set an intention to not only invite true tenderness into your life but to actively share it with the world.

I wish you all the best in this endeavor, and even if you choose not to engage, may tenderness increase in your life with each passing day!

Always and All Ways ~ Tom

With sincere gratitude, I would like to thank the following individuals for connecting with me last week. I look forward to exploring your inspiring work!

Gary Granza, Isti Marta Sukma, Arslanijaz, Rebecca the Death Doula, MAIMUNA ISAH, Tkxel Software Solutions, Alina Jemaprais, Emily Roy, Cathy Taughinbaugh, Sarah Hiner, Alex Yuan

Your support means the world to me!

Each week, I highlight an article by one of my new followers. This week, I chose a piece by Sarah Hiner. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I did!